Match.com Hall of Shame #5

Subject: I am interested in you.
Hello,

My name is David. I am 43 years old and I am very single. I have no children. I’m looking for a good woman to grow old with. I live in Ocala, Florida. I am a paramedic supervisor here. I love my job and have been working here for the past 24 years.

In my spare time I love to ride my Harley-Davidson motorcycle. It is a great way to unwind and enjoy a beautiful day. I have travled across the country several times on it. I plan to do it again next summer.

I also love to go to the beach and vegitate on it. South Beach in Miami is one of my favorites.

The picture in my profile was taken in front of my house. They may have cropped it so I can send you the entire picture if you like. Hope you like me and my house. I love it here. Even if I would win Loto I have no desire to move.

I would like very much to meet you.

Hope to hear from you,

David
———————

Looking for a good woman to grow old with

43-year-old man
Ocala, FL, US

What Went Wrong:

  • Spelling/Typos: vegitate, Loto, travled
  • “I am 43 years old and I am very single.” (More like very desperate…besides being out of my 27-39 age range.)
  • “I also love to go to the beach” (In my profile I mentioned that I’d take a trip to Best Buy over any cheesy walk on the beach. Obviously this guy didn’t read my profile. Big mistake.)
  • “Hope you like me and my house.” (YUCK. Is he trying to sell himself to the first homeless or mercenary woman out there? Pathetic.)
  • No mention of anything from my profile. This tells me that this is a copy and paste form email, which implies that he a) didn’t bother to read my profile or b) didn’t think it was important to personalize his message. Unacceptable in either case.
  • “Looking for a good woman to grow old with” (I’m Asian, buddy. I will look like I’m 25 until I’m 50. Can you say the same? Also, all this talk about houses, settling down, and veiled traditionalism gives me the creeps.)

Overall Impression:

Unimaginative Match.com spammer. Probably sends the same email to every member whose photo catches his eye.

This entry was posted in General.

One thought on “Match.com Hall of Shame #5

  1. – Needs to clarify his priorities: “looking for a woman to grow old with” and enjoying “vegitating on South Beach” (home of the surgically-enhanced, youth-seeking beautiful people) are mutually exclusive activities
    – Is he more worried that you can’t see him –or his house–in the photo?
    – Riding across the U.S. on a Hog sounds like a dirty, ear-splitting, windburn-inducing, crotch-numbing endeavor with only smushed bugs on your face to show for it. Return on investment – negative.

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