Gah, I am so cheap.

In my quest to organize my apartment for the spring, I ran into a minor roadblock: My accordion file for neurotically collecting and saving receipts had finally hit maximum capacity. Lest you think that I only used the 12 slot file for a single year, let me lay your fears to rest. I very frugally stuck a sheet of used inkjet paper (printed on both sides, 2 pages per side for various reasons in the past) into each pocket so I could use the file for two full years of compulsive receipt collecting.

Anyhow, after two solid years of use, I literally couldn’t stuff another receipt into the thing, let alone squeeze in a full year 2005, so I started looking at alternatives that would:

1. Allow me to neatly save every receipt that passes through my hands
2. Keep them all organized by month
3. Not involve a shoebox in any way

Recalling that I had a full box of hanging file folders (purchased for a pittance over a year ago) just moldering away in my closet, I decided to pull those suckers out and use them for receipt collection going forward. The only problem was that I didn’t own a file cabinet, and hanging file folders aren’t exactly self-supporting.

So I started checking the online weekly ads for Staples, Office Depot, and Office Max in search of a cheap file cabinet or plastic storage unit that would work with my files.

Everything was (gasp!) $10 or more.

$10 for what amounted to a stupid BOX?

This thing wouldn’t even be on display. I had a nice little spot in my closet already earmarked for it.

Obviously, tightwad measures had to be taken, particularly since I had a chicken on the stove and couldn’t just drive off to the store for such a frivolous purchase, so I grabbed a folder for sizing purposes and started dashing around the apartment looking for any boxes that might be of the correct width. Fortunately, as a lazy, habitual online bargain hunter, I had enough boxes around to open up my own UPS Store franchise. Big boxes, little boxes, square boxes, flat boxes–you name it, I’ve got it. I even considered the Arm and Hammer cat litter box that I’d just finished up, but it was too small.

Then, finally, I found it: a small U-Haul moving box from my last apartment move. With the top 3.5″ trimmed off, it was the PERFECT size for hanging my new receipt collection. I grabbed a ruler, a marker, and a pair of scissors and went at it.

In less than 3 minutes I had a functional hanging file folder box for absolutely zero cash outlay.

Could anything be more beautiful?

My cats are so spoiled. They own their own multi-level condo, are free-fed premium noshes every day, get vigorously brushed like little divas, are picked up, coddled, and petted whenever they demand it with a well-placed claw in my shins, and spend all day doing little beyond eating, sleeping, and following me around hoping for more food, cuddles, or brushing when I’m home.

Their only contribution to apartment maintenance is the occasional hunting down and slaughtering of the unfortunate bugs and rare lizard or frog that gets inside.

What a great life, really, having a big doofus of a human girl waiting on you paw and tail just for the dubious pleasure of hearing you make a cute sound when you are happy.

Remind me to come back in my next life as a cat. I want to be able to sleep 20 hours a day, run around for about 15 minutes, and be lithe and trim, too.