I ventured into the wilds of Wal-Mart again last night to purchase the Danskin folding weight bench I mentioned earlier this week. For those of you who are interested in it, I will post photos, measurements, and a review tomorrow. For now, rejoice in the fact that it is a mere $39.92 at the store as well as the web site.

Anyhow, I got to Wally World around 7:20 pm last night and was promptly reminded why I generally avoid shopping there at all cost. As soon as the sun sets, every Wal-Mart Super Center in central Florida turns into an absolute disaster area. Shelves in the grocery area are half stripped of all of their contents, merchandise is all over the floors, the toy department looks like Godzilla tore through it thanks to the hordes of unsupervised terrors–er, children I mean–running around, and all of the employees look like they are either suffering from a toothache of epic proportions or ready to commit murder.

If I weren’t such an intrepid bargain hunter, I would have turned right around, driven home, sucked up the $8.94 shipping and handling, and ordered the bench from the online store.

Just as I was considering this option, I saw a fantastic vision: Seedless Green Grapes, 99 cents a pound.

Dammit.

I had to go in now. As accomodating as their shipping department may be, I doubt that produce is on the list of deliverables.

I picked up some other staples since I had to slog through the check out lines anyway, and got a good look at the shopping carts of Mr. and Mrs. Lower Middle Class America along the way. I also noticed the prices of the food at Wal-Mart and remarked on a pretty ugly truth: Prices at Wal-Mart ARE low, but the lowest prices and biggest discounts are on processed junk and Frankenfoods.

Would you care to guess what filled the carts of almost every shopper in the store? Not veggies, fruit, fresh meat, tubes of oatmeal, cottage cheese or eggs, that’s for sure. In the cereal aisle I had to wait while two women filled two carts full of sugary cereals from the lower rack up to the top of the main basket. Who buys 50 boxes of Frosted Flakes at one time anyway? Shouldn’t they be shopping at Sam’s Wholesale Club? Sheesh!

I finally located my weight bench in the sporting goods department (which was quite deserted compared to the electronics, grocery, and clothing areas), chucked the huge box into my cart, and headed to the Checkout Queues from Hell.

If you’ve shopped at a Super Wal-Mart before, you know what I’m talking about. It doesn’t matter if you choose a regular line with a cashier or a self-checkout line; even if you just want to buy ONE item, it will take you 30 minutes to pay for your purchases from the moment you choose a line to the moment you finally claw your way out. Every cashier I’ve dealt with at a Super Wal-Mart has had the bitter, surly expression of a humanoid truly pissed off with life in general and customers in particular, but for some reason they prolong their torture by working as slowly as possible. In the self-service lines, one is invariably guaranteed to be behind The Most Technologically-Challenged Person In The Whole Wide World. He or she is usually somewhat deaf and illiterate as well, as they cannot seem to hear the pleasant computer voice telling them what to do next, nor can they understand the simple instructions on the touch screen.

Having been burned badly before at this same location in the self-service line when I unwisely hurried into a line behind a man who had to check out a whole flat of Maruchuan Noodles In A Cup one by one, I went with a manned cashier line this time.

Did it make a difference?

Not a whit.

I got in line at 8:05 pm. I finished paying at 8:40 pm. While I was waiting in line, two little girls ran up to my cart and squeezed around it to reach the display of 88 cent chips on the other side. One was about eight years old and already overweight. The other one was perhaps five and only showing a bit of a potbelly. They grabbed 5 bags of different chips and ran back to their overweight mother in the next line over.

“Momma said to get her some dem hot fries!”

Their MOTHER had sent them for chips. Lovely.

By the way, I happened to look down at the floor during my wait in line and noticed that someone had dropped the woody skeleton of an entire bunch of grapes on the ground near the rack of chips, completely stripped of at least three dozen grapes. What kind of thieving cretin eats an entire bunch of grapes that he hasn’t even paid for yet while waiting in line to check out? What did he do when he got up to the register, hand over an empty plastic bag and have the cashier weigh it so he could pay a penny?

Gah!

Mr. and Mrs. Average American, thank you for letting me see how you feed yourselves and your children. In your sagging jawlines and bulging bellies I can read your love of food and disregard of exercise. Most sadly of all, I see the poor example you set for your unfortunate children.

Please don’t be offended if I, a first-generation naturalized American citizen from Taiwan who should be scrambling to fit into the American norm, choose not to be anything like you.

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Nutrition: SGX Training Day Menu
(Details omitted by request of trainer)

Daily Supplements: multivitamin with iron, calcium 500 + D, 1 T. flaxseed oil or natural peanut butter, 1 t. GNC Creastack
Water: 16 cups minimum

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Workout:
12:00 PM SGX Lower body workout
9:00 PM LISS Cardio - Treadmill (3.5 mph / 10% incline / 45 minutes)

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The Awful Truth:
1. Got home too late from trip to Ghetto-Mart and had to push lower body workout to Thursday.

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Brownie Points:
1. Obtained Danskin Now folding weight bench from the slum that is the John Young Parkway Wal-Mart Supercenter.
2. Did not lose sense of humor even though it took 30 minutes to check out.
3. Dragged 30 lb weight bench up to 3rd floor apartment, set it up, and then used it as a seat while pedaling on mini-bike and reading Millionaire Next Door for 45 minutes.
4. Finished Millionaire Next Door this morning. Am totally revved up about financial future.

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Short-term Goals:
1. Do towel load.
2. File papers on drafting table.
3. Start Freehand 10 tutorials and finish by 8/11.